


Only Human?

by tj_teejay



Category: Avatar (2009)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 05:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16989102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tj_teejay/pseuds/tj_teejay
Summary: More detailed exploration of the relationship between Jake, Norm and Grace, focusing on events in the human world. You could see it as deleted scenes that we didn't see on the screen. Starts after Trudy flies them to the shack in the Hallelujah Mountains.





	Only Human?

**Author's Note:**

> This story started out with exploring the relationship between Jake, Norm and Grace, focusing on events in the human world. I guess you could see it as deleted scenes that we didn't see on the screen.
> 
> Starts around the time that Trudy first flies Grace, Norm and Jake out to the shack in the Hallelujah Mountains. The story somehow developed a mind of its own and I ended up continuing it pretty much throughout the movie, but only through the eyes of human Grace, Norm, Trudy and Jake.
> 
> A number of dialogues and scenes in this story were taken from a 2007 version of the movie script and some from the movie itself, so these are obviously not mine. 
> 
> This story has not been beta-read (by anyone but me, I mean). My friend who usually helps me out has no interest in seeing the movie, which unfortunately counts her out.
> 
> With regard to the Na'vi language used in this story, I tried to stay as true as possible to what the movie script and learnnavi.org offered (which actually wasn't always consistent). In some places I had to improvise. Should you be fluent in the language, please forgive me if my Na'vi may not be a 100% correct. I am listing all the phrases and words I used (and their translations) in the end notes.

—==''''==—

Norman Spellman looked out the window of what was not so lovingly called the 'shack' and could only just make out a huge chunk of floating rock in the foggy distance. After almost a month in this place, the marvel of the Hallelujah Mountains was starting to lose its magic.

He listlessly chewed on the chunk of artificial cheese he had grabbed from the fridge. _A piece of bread would be nice to go with this,_ he mused.

It was hard to overhear the footsteps on the metal floor, so Grace Augustine's approach didn't come as a surprise. After all, she was the only person in here but him who could actually walk.

She pulled up the spare, standard issue metal chair and sat down at the table next to him. "Enjoying dinner?"

"Dinner?" He looked at his watch and remembered that the battery had run out; it had been stuck at 11:32 for days now. There was a definite downside to not having any resources around. "What time is it anyway?"

Grace shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. Does it really matter?"

"Going back and forth between this place and the world out there, it knocked my sense of timing totally out of whack."

"Is Sully still in?" she asked.

"I guess."

She couldn't hide an amused smile. "I really wonder what he's doing out there. I mean, if what he's been telling us is even remotely true, he's been pulling some mean stunts."

"Oh yeah, he's a _true_ action hero." It sounded just as sarcastic as he had meant for it to sound.

Grace narrowed her eyes. "You know, you can't stay mad at him forever."

"Who says I'm mad?"

She snorted a short laugh and shook her head in disbelief. "Geez, Spellman, it's written all over you."

He sighed. "Okay, fine, whatever."

"Pandora tends to screw with your head after a while, especially if you run around out there in a tall, blue body. Every now and then it doesn't hurt to remember that your real life is right here—in _this_ body."

"It's just not fair, you know? I trained three years for this mission. I speak the language fluently. He falls off the frickin' turnip truck and all of a sudden he's cultural ambassador!? I mean, come on, Grace, I know you aren't exactly happy about him being here either."

She looked out the window, pensive for a moment. "No, I wasn't, not at first. Because what would a random Marine, who just happens to have the same DNA as his brilliant neurogeneticist brother, be able to accomplish here? But, you know, it's not our choice, Norm."

"Our choice my ass."

She shot him a scolding glance. "Look. I've been here for ten years. It took me five of them to gain the Omatikaya's trust enough to let me build a school, to befriend them, get to teach them. It took Quaritch and his goons a mere two months to take all of that away. And now... we have Jake. He may be our way back in. Maybe we can repair some of the damage that's been done."

"Well, that's... that's great. I'm really happy for you." Here was the sarcasm again.

"Okay, Spellman, I get it."

He waited for her to elaborate, but she only fumbled for a cigarette from the pack she kept in her lab coat pocket.

The acrid smoke bit his nose. He felt slightly foolish, but nevertheless asked, "Get what?"

"You're jealous."

 "Jealous? Of Jake? Are you kidding me?"

She smiled one of her wistful smiles, and it annoyed him more than he would care to admit.

"Here." She put a candy bar in front of him. "You need it more than I do."

He looked at it and picked it up. It was a real candy bar, not those artificial ration pack ones that only tasted of sweetened wax.

Her smile never wavered. "I've found that chocolate cures most anything, especially bad moods."

She got up and, before she left the room, she said, "I need some serious rack. If you wake me for anything other than an emergency, you're a dead man."

Despite himself, a small smile crept into his features. If there was one thing about Grace Augustine that he truly loved, it was her charming way with people.

—==''''==—

There was a reason they called what once existed on earth rainforests. Heavy drops of rain descended on the Hallelujah Mountains today, creating a steady but soothing drum beat on the metal of the shack's roof.

Norm heard the faint whirring sound of the link unit opening next door. He didn't give it much thought, it was probably Grace. She had said she would be joining him soon to analyze the samples they had collected earlier. Jake was usually the last the come out of the link, he was with the Na'vi from dawn till dusk now.

Norm turned his attention back to the spectrophotometer and the samples he was preparing for it. The more to his surprise was it that he suddenly heard a male voice from behind.

"Cul-tee fuh-kay-tooan."

It took a few seconds for Norm to register that Jake hadn't spoken English.

"You know, your Na'vi sucks."

Jake sighed. "I know. That's what Neytiri keeps telling me."

"I didn't know the Na'vi had a word for 'to suck'."

"They don't. Or maybe they do, which proves my point."

Norm put the pipette away and reached up to get a book from the shelf above the workbench. He handed it to Jake. "Here, that might be helpful."

Jake took it. The cover read _NUME NA'VI - A Guide to Learning the Na'vi Language_. He thumbed through it, it looked comprehensive. A little too comprehensive. "Gee, thanks. Got something a little more... interactive, maybe?"

Norm was focusing on programming the spectrophotometer. Half-heartedly, he mumbled, "Just dig around on the computer, I think there's a video tutorial or something somewhere."

"So, where's Grace?" Jake asked.

Norm had to bite back a _duh_. "Still linked, I guess."

As if on cue, they heard noises from the next room and then a selection of choice words. "Are there no goddamn smokes left anywhere in this place?"

She entered the lab area, plopping down on one of the chairs, taking in the presence of the two men. "Jake. You're here early."

He smiled. "Yeah. I got a day off."

Grace looked at him quizzically. "I think you need to elaborate on that."

"Okay, so here's the thing... Apparently there's some sort of ritual going on. Like, a day of prayers and stories and chanting and— I've forgotten what they call it. Paluta... Paluka—"

"Palua'kat'sunga."

"Yeah, that's it." He wasn't surprised that Grace knew what he was talking about. "What is it?"

"It's an age-old ritual where the Clan comes together to praise Eywa and to thank her for her kindness and her graciousness. They do this only every seven years. Jake, do you realize—" She stopped for a second, looking at him incredulously. "Wait a minute. _Why_ exactly are you not with them?"

"Neytiri said I would be bored out of my mind. I wouldn't understand half of what they're saying. Because, you know, in case you hadn't noticed, I don't really speak Na'vi. And you know as well as I do that I shouldn't be roaming the forest without guidance, unless I wanna be eaten alive by a pack of Viperwolves, so I figured the shack would be as good a place as any."

This elicited an incredulous snort from Norm while Grace shook her head. "You're basically invited to witness the Palua'kat'sunga, and you _refuse_?! Seriously, you're some piece of work."

He shrugged his shoulders apologetically. "Sorry, Doc. I can go back if you like, tell them I've changed my mind."

"And what purpose would that serve? You know, other than you getting bored out of your mind."

"I could record you a nice videolog. You know, afterwards." He smirked at her.

She just shook her head again. "Marine, sometimes I don't get you."

"That's okay. Sometimes I don't get me either."

Grace's attention focused on the Na'vi textbook lying in his lap. "So, what's this? Don't tell me it's for self-study, because I know you better than that."

He pointed a finger at her. "Guilty as charged. You know what would be cool? A braid with an link at the end that I could just hook up to a computer and upload Na'vi 101 straight into the long-term memory."

She smiled at that. "Sorry. Can't help you there."

—==''''==—

"Come on, you piece of junk," Norm muttered under his breath. He'd have to run another diagnostic on the link unit's system. It had taken him twenty minutes to get it running this morning, he'd had to start the phase integration four times before it kicked in. It hadn't been easy to push away mental images of his brain getting fried from the inside whilst he was in his avatar body.

While the system check was running, he went over to the lab to get an interface adapter. Passing Jake's bunk, he noticed the Na'vi textbook lying on the floor, the paperback cover dog-eared in a few places. Had he misjudged the guy? Was he indeed actually trying to study the language? It was hard to believe. Jake, in his real body, never had any time for anything other than videologging, sleeping and eating —and sometimes not even that.

And maybe Grace had been right. What Jake was doing out there could go such a long way towards finding a peaceful solution. Overhearing some of Grace's videologs, he was starting to understand that this was bigger than just their scientific discoveries. He'd never much been interested in politics, he always figured that was something for people for had a passion for intrigues and a craving for recognition. Living and working in the Pandoran RDA enclave, however, it was hard to miss the constant squabbles and power struggles.

He found the adapter in a drawer with a collection of tools that he didn't even know what half of them were for. Back at the link unit, he checked the screen. 83%.

Drumming his fingers on the shell of the unit's lid, Norm saw from the corner of his eye that Jake's chamber at the end was opening. Jake sat up, his eyes alert. Going back and forth between his human and his avatar body every day, he had become used to the switch in environments.

"Whoa," Jake grinned at Norm as he hoisted himself into his wheelchair and came wheeling towards Norm. "Did you know the Na'vi ride banshees?"

"Yeah, I've heard about it. Never seen it, though."

Jake smiled at the mental image which was still fresh in his mind. "Neytiri showed me hers today."

Norm couldn't help himself, his curiosity won the better of him. "Really? What was it like?"

"Awesome!"

"No, I mean, what did it look like?"

"Big, colorful, menacing. And fast."

Norm sighed, crouching down next to the link unit to reach for the connection port underneath the screen panel. "Geez, you sound like you're describing a car. You really don't have a single scientific bone in your body."

Jake good-naturedly shrugged his shoulders. "So shoot me."

"Is that an invite?"

"Aw, come on, you're hurting my pride. You wouldn't shoot a cripple, would you?"

Norm wasn't sure how to respond to that. He always felt awkward when Jake's disability came up. He didn't have time to dwell on it, though, as Jake continued, "You know, the whole Na'vi thing is great and all, but, man, the language is a killer. Pronounce one word wrong, and suddenly you're insulting the person you're talking to. Neytiri has been trying to teach me, but she thinks I'm a hopeless case."

"It's actually not all that difficult, once you understand the structure."

"Easy for _you_ to say. You got to study this stuff for three years before you even came here."

Norm frowned. Maybe he _had_ misjudged the guy. He always thought Jake didn't give a damn about Avatar training, and he never got the feeling that Jake had any regrets about not having gone through it. Before he could stop himself, he told Jake, "Hey, you want me to coach you?"

Jake's eyes widened a little in surprise. "Really?"

"Uh... yeah. _Really_."

"You do realize that I suck at studying, right? Tom was the guy with the brains."

"Plltxe ngal Na'vi lì'fya srak?"

"Rä'ä niltsan. I think."

"See, not so hopeless after all. Your pronunciation needs work, though."

"Yeah, don't I know it." Jake was quiet for a moment, then gave Norm a good natured slap on the shoulder. "Thanks, man. I really appreciate it."

Norm didn't know what to say. Since when had they become buddies?

—==''''==—

Daylight on Pandora had a different tint to it, but who could remember what real daylight looked like on earth these days? On the inside, the shack felt like the prison-cell-meets-747-bathroom apartments in the city, and the few windows didn't contribute much in terms of cheerfulness.

Norm and Jake were sitting at the utilitarian table in what was lovingly referred to as the shack's kitchen. In reality it was nothing more than a tiny fridge, a coffee maker, a microwave and a table with two chairs—and not much room to maneuver.

"Thank you?" Norm asked.

"Irayo," Jake answered.

"Irayo." Norm comically exaggerated the pronunciation, "Irrrrayo. Irrrrayo. You've gotta roll the R, r-r-r-oll it."

"Irrrayo," Jake repeated, still not getting it quite right.

Norm sighed. "Okay, let's try the other way round. "Oel ngati kameie."

"I see you," Jake said. He knew _this_ one.

Norm used his arm to accompany the phrase with a gesture. "Don't just say it. You gotta convey it with your body. Like this. I _see_ you. That's a very important part of it. But it's not just _I'm seeing you in front of me_ , I see _into_ you. I _see_ you. I know you. I understand you. So you gotta get this, okay?"

Jake involuntarily broke into a grin and rubbed his face with his hand. He would never get this.

"You think I'm a skxawng."

Norm now had to smile too. " _You_ said that."

"I told you, Tom was the smart one. I was always the daredevil who didn't care about grades or education. Now see where that's got me."

Norm suddenly grew quiet. Tom had never come up between them except on the day they met at Hell's Gate. "You know, when I first saw you, I was totally weirded out. You really look exactly like your brother."

Jake propped up his elbow on the table and rested his chin in his hand. There was a mischievous grin hiding somewhere behind his lips. "And after about two seconds you realized I wasn't anything like him?"

"Actually, not really. You still remind me of him a lot."

Jake's expression grew more serious. "You know what? You probably knew him better than I did."

"You didn't get along?"

"As kids, sure. I mean, we didn't have much. Grew up with the stench of the city constantly in our noses. I mean, who didn't? I surely beat him up a lot more than he deserved. Our lives sort of drifted apart in school. His mind was operating on a whole other level. Never much spoke to him when he was in college. Only saw him on Thanksgiving and Christmas—if I wasn't on a tour somewhere. He stopped coming after our mother died.

"He came to see me in Venezuela after... you know, the accident. He arranged for the transport back to the States, made sure I got my ass out of bed and go through the physio. Figured it was his way of trying to make up for lost time. God, I was a real prick. You know how I thanked him? Threw him out with a selection of expletives."

Jake looked out the window into the foggy distance. "It's so unreal. It's like I don't even remember that life anymore."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"Did you know Tom well?" Jake asked.

"We went through Avatar training together. I mean, it wasn't like we were best buddies or anything, but, yeah, I guess spending three years with the same group of people makes you get to know someone pretty well.

"He was the go-to guy for anything to do with genetics. No one could hold a candle to him when it came to gene sequence identification. He figured out that the Na'vi p4S6 sequence on chromosome 18 is actually identical to the q8R29 sequence of the human chromosome 2, right down to the protein level."

Norm noticed that Jake was zoning out. "Sorry. I know. Way too much geek talk. I guess what I wanna say is, he was pretty much brilliant." He suddenly remembered something. "Hey, hang on a sec, let me quickly get something."

He returned a minute later with a flash chip and one of the tablet displays. Putting the chip into a vacant slot, he brought up a series of thumbnailed images and videos. "I never deleted these from the media chip. Our last week of Avatar training."

Jake took the display that Norm held out to him and tapped on the first image, activating the slide show mode. A series of images flickered across the screen, and Jake looked at all of them, even though Tom wasn't in every picture. Norm commented on some of them, getting excited, reliving good times.

From these images and short, sometimes silly video snippets, Jake suddenly realized what the Avatar program and this trip had meant to his brother. It had been a dream come true, something to live for, something the polluted concrete confines of earth couldn't offer him. Tom's single thing worth fighting for.

Unfamiliar, melancholy gratitude suddenly welled up in the pit of his stomach and made him choke up for a second. Tom was the reason he was here now. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and he had shrugged it off as _just another hellhole_. "I'm an ass," he murmured.

"What?" Norm looked up at him questioningly.

"Nothing."

"I thought I heard you say you were an ass."

"Maybe you did."

"Because you waltzed in here like an arrogant ignoramus, thinking you could do anything without so much as an ounce of preparation?"

A rueful smirk escaped Jake's lips. "Something like that."

"Yeah, well, you kinda _were_ an ass."

"Thanks."

"Sorry to interrupt your little male bonding ritual here," Grace announced, coming towards them, "but if I may remind you, we have work to do."

Jake half-heartedly protested, "Norm was teaching me Na'vi."

Grace opened the lid to her link chamber. "There's a time and place for everything, and right now I need Norm out there with me."

Norm shrugged apologetically. "Sorry. Gotta do what the boss says."

Jake pointed at Norm's link unit. "Go. Make my brother proud."

Norm nodded. "I will."

—==''''==—

It had surely been a learning curve. Norm's first day in the Omatikaya village was nothing like he expected. He had been regarded with latent suspicion by some, but generally the Na'vi had accepted him in a 'tolerated visitor' kind of way. He suspected that being fluent in their customs and language had a great deal to do with that.

A young Na'vi named Toka'ì had stayed particularly close and had asked him all sorts of questions about their scientific endeavors and about where he originally came from. That is, until his mother had taken him aside and presumably given him a lecture. The Na'vi weren't generally trusting of outsiders and especially didn't have any interest in the humans' agenda or their origins—both of which Norm could understand, seeing the history with the RDA that the Na'vi had been witness to in recent years.

What had especially impressed him, and it wasn't easy to admit, was Jake. Not just how he handled himself, but his interaction with the Clan and the environment. He had made sure that Norm was being shown around, he had even let him ride a direhorse—with Neytiri's permission, of course. Norm had to smile when he remembered Jake's comment on Norm's first riding lesson. "Man, you're good! The first time, I fell off after about three seconds."

As the day neared its end, Norm was arranging the vials with the samples they had taken in the forest just outside Hometree. They would be at least two days' worth of lab analysis.

He actually jumped when he suddenly heard a voice just behind him. "A good yield, I see."

"Jake," Norm said, releasing the breath he'd just sucked in. "Geez, way to sneak up on people!"

Jake just smirked at him mischievously. "Neytiri taught me well."

Norm gathered up the samples and put them in a duffel bag. "I gotta go. This was great!" He beamed at Jake, who smiled back. "See you in the shack?"

"Yeah." It was an unpleasant reminder that he could not stay here forever. Unlike Norm, he didn't have any exciting experiments or similarly thrilling discoveries waiting for him in the drab metal box out there in the mountains. This thought accompanied him for the rest of the day until he laid down in the hammock inside Hometree to sleep that night.

In his human form, Jake blinked inside the link chamber, trying to shake off the fatigue—and failing. Pushing up the lid, the air smelled of used up oxygen and unsavory body odor.

He slowly sat up. Grace and Norm came to his aid and helped him into his chair. Norm pushed him into the kitchen with Grace following

She gave him a once-over, latent worry clouding her face. "You're still losing weight. Here—" She put a microwaved burrito on a plate on the table in front of Jake.

He looked at the now alien food with a reluctant expression and bit into it without enthusiasm. "I made a kill today. We ate it. I know where _that_ meal came from."

"Other body. You need to take care of this body."

"Yeah, yeah," he shrugged.

She sat down beside him, drawing in a lungful of smoke from the cigarette she had just lit. Her eyes bore into him with a certain intensity. "Jake, I'm serious. You look like crap. You're burning too hard."

 

He looked up and snatched the cigarette out of her mouth, stubbing it out on the metal tabletop. "Get rid of this shit, then you can lecture me."

"I'm telling you, as your boss and someone who might even consider being a friend someday, to take some down time."

"Not now. Tomorrow we leave for Iknimaya."

"Yeah, you're gonna go ride a banshee. Or die trying."

"That's right, Grace. This is what I've been working for." He grinned at her with that damn smug ex-Marine grin.

Shit. He was investing too much. She knew the patterns all too well. Not having her cigarette anymore to keep her hands occupied, she walked past Jake. Caffeine didn't work as well as nicotine, but it would do.

While the coffee maker in the background started to sputter to life, she turned to face him. "This is your check up from the neck up, Marine. You're getting in way too deep."

Old memories welled up and she inadvertently touched her lower ribcage where an ugly scar marked one of her war wounds. "Trust me, I learned the hard way."

The tone of her voice made him look at her. She was standing next to the refrigerator and his eyes fell upon the pictures of Grace and the Omatikaya children that were tacked to the glass door.

"What did happen at the school?"

She looked at the door, her eyes tracking across the pictures of the laughing children. These photos had been hanging there so long, she didn't even notice them anymore. A pang of regret and useless guilt wrenched inside of her. It was a story she didn't like telling, or even remembering.

Screw it, he needed to know what SecFor was capable of. "Neytiri's sister, Sylwanin, stopped coming to school. She was angry about the clear-cutting. One day, she and a couple of other young hunters came running in, all painted up. They'd set a bulldozer on fire. I guess they thought I could protect them."

Jake looked at her expectantly, her voice was oddly calm. He already knew this story wouldn't have a happy ending. He saw that her hand was shaking as she poured the milk into her mug. Dammit. He shouldn't have made her relive that terrible memory.

Undeterred by her emotions, she pressed on, "The troopers pursued them to the schoolhouse. They killed Sylwanin in the doorway. Right in front of Neytiri. Then shot the others. I got most of the kids out, before they shot me."

He knew what she was talking about, he had seen people get shot at close range. That's what drove it home. "Jesus," he whispered.

"Yeah."

She felt tears stinging in her eyes. The image of Sylwanin bleeding to death in her sister's arms was suddenly as fresh as if it had just happened.

 _Grace, keep it together,_ she told herself. With gargantuan effort, she pushed the pictures from her mind. "A scientist stays objective. We cannot be ruled by emotion. But I poured ten years of my life into that school. They called me sa'atenuk. Mother. That kind of pain reaches back through the link."

She turned to face him, her expression stoic. "It's a job. Learn what you can, but don't get attached. It's not our world, Jake. And we can't stop what's coming."

 _It may be too late for that,_ he mused, but he didn't say it out loud.

—==''''==—

The dim, blue light inside the link unit had become an almost comforting constant in Jake's life. But what exactly _was_ life? Everything was backwards now. Like out there was the true world, and in here was the dream.

He had named his banshee Zelan. Neytiri had explained to him, "It is very important you name Ikran. It is part of the process, part of bonding." It hadn't been easy to find one that was an actual name in Na'vi and that he could pronounce.

He felt clumsy, wheeling his chair through the shack. Being trapped in this useless body was a reality that was getting harder and harder to deal with every passing day.

He found Grace, Norm and Trudy, who had joined them the day before, in the lab area. Norm was cradling a cup of coffee, immersed in a conversation with Trudy about the Na'vi way of life.

Grace turned around at the sound of his wheelchair. "Jake, nice of you to join us," she said, not able to hide her sarcasm. She shot him a sideways glance. "I take it you survived your little banshee rodeo."

He grinned. "Yep. I've got my own Ikran now. You are not gonna believe how incredibly cool it is to fly."

Norm interjected, "Oh, I believe it."

Trudy chimed in, "I pilot a Samson for a living. You wanna lecture _me_ on flying?"

Jake ignored them. "Neytiri and I, we flew out to this one place. It had, like, these rock arches, a huge formation. And there was a tree in the middle, kinda like a willow."

"I think I know what you're talking about." Grace started scanning through images on the computer screen. Jake, Trudy and Norm drew closer, looking over Grace's shoulder. Jake stopped her on one image—a 3D aerial shot of the strange arched formation.

"That's it."

Grace explained, "The Tree of Souls—Vitraya Ramunong. It's their most sacred place. See the flux vortex in these false color images?"

Trudy said, "Yeah, that's what messes up my instruments."

Grace continued, "There is something really interesting going on in there, biologically. I would die to get samples. Outsiders are strictly forbidden." She turned to look at Jake. "You lucky swine."

—==''''==—

If not now, then when? Jake looked through the pressure window at human Grace and Norm outside. Wearing masks, they were taking readings from some time-series experiment Grace had set up.

As Trudy watched, Jake worked fast to download Grace's images of the Tree of Souls onto a memory chip.

"They're coming back," Trudy hissed with a certain urgency to her voice.

Jake pulled the chip, then hesitated. What the hell was he doing?

Trudy saw him wavering. "If you don't give him something, he's gonna shut us down."

Jake handed her the chip and she slipped it into a pocket of her flight-suit just as Grace and Norm entered from the airlock.

"Hey, guys," Jake greeted them. He hoped they didn't notice the too obvious innocence to his voice.

—==''''==—

Jake tried not to look at himself on the monitor. Recording videologs has become second nature to him, but the face staring back at him looked unfamiliar—pale and haggard, with a scraggly beard. He'd lost a lot of weight, his t-shirt hung loosely down his shoulders, like a sheet covering a lampshade. The image was reminiscent of a junkie watching a test pattern.

Disgusted, he turned away and looked into the camera. "Hard to believe it's only been three months. I can barely remember my old life. I'm not sure who I am anymore."

He rubbed his face, feeling the stubbly hair on his chin. This wasn't him. Grace's words rang in his ears. _You need to take care of this body._ What good was he out there if the body in here stopped working?

He hit the Stop button on the recording screen and wheeled into the kitchen. Equipped with a bottle of water and a vacuum-packed sandwich, he made his way over to the makeshift bathroom with the cracked mirror. The beard had to go.

—==''''==—

Hell's Gate, it looked both familiar and strange to Jake and Grace. Under a sky of thunderheads, the forest was a dark wall beyond the fence. Selfridge, wearing an exopack, teed up while Grace and Jake approached from the direction of the Ops Center, also wearing exopacks.

Selfridge wore his usual smug, superior almost-grin. "Good of you to stop by. How's it going out there? Our blue friends all packed up yet?"

He swung his driver with good form. "See, I keep hooking it. It's the damn pack."

The golf ball dropped into the mud just past a marker which read 220. A trooper walked over to retrieve it.

"The low gravity and the high air density cancel out so—"

Jake had no respect or patience for Selfridge's childish games. He rather rudely interrupted him, "You called us back to report. You want to hear it or not?"

Selfridge turned his attention away from his golf club and acknowledged Jake. "Go ahead."

It was Grace who spoke. "Jake is making incredible progress, years worth in just a few months. But we need more time."

"Not what I was hoping to hear."

Thunder clapped in the distance and it was starting to rain. Selfridge calmly pulled an umbrella from his golf bag and snapped it open.

Grace's patience was also starting to wear thin. "Parker, it's their ancestral home. They've lived there since before human history began. You can spare them a few more weeks."

"This thing is inevitable. What does it matter when it happens? I'm sorry, Dr. Augustine. You're out of time."

Selfridge stomped away and left them standing there to get drenched.

"I'm sorry my ass. Pompous prick," mumbled Jake.

Grace just shot him a look that spelled, _I totally agree_.

—==''''==—

Dressed in a fresh, dry pair of pants and t-shirt, Jake felt the uncomfortable lump of dread in his stomach spreading.

His arms were resting on the tabletop surface, a harsh overhead light making the break room appear as cold as the metal table. If he'd doubted where his loyalties lay before, it was like the conversation with Selfridge had flicked a switch in his mind.

Steps were approaching, an even, controlled stride. He knew it was Quaritch even before he heard his bassy drawl. "Haven't gotten lost in the woods, have you?"

Quaritch pulled up a chair, turned it around, and sat astride it, facing Jake. He studied Jake's pale, sunken face, the scruffy hair. Jake couldn't meet his eyes.

"Your last report was more than two weeks ago. I'm starting to doubt your _resolve_. From what I see, it's time to terminate this mission."

Jake's eyes flared with alarm. Quickly, he said, "No, I can do this."

"You already have. You've given me good, usable intel. Like this 'Tree of Souls' place, I've got them by the balls with that when it turns into a shit-fight. Which it will."

The lump in his stomach gave way to a hollow emptiness. Like an anvil, the realization of what he'd done hit. Hard.

Quaritch didn't notice, or at least didn't appear to. "Now it's time to come in. By the way, you gonna get your legs back." The smile on the Colonel's face made a sickening feeling spread through Jake's insides. "Yeah, I got you corporate approval. It's a done deal. Gonna have you on a shuttle tonight. I'm a man of my word."

Inwardly, Jake could only utter a mirthless laugh. Wasn't this what he had been doing all this for? It seemed like a lifetime ago that he had been excited at the prospect of getting his legs back and out of this place. What did he have on earth that was worth taking another six year trip back for? Another tour of duty in the last few places that the so-called civilized humans hadn't seized and made their own?

He fished for something meaningful and convincing to tell Quaritch. "I've gotta finish this. There's one more thing—the ceremony. It's the final stage of becoming a man. If I do it, I'm one of them. And they'll trust me..." It sounded empty, even to him. "... and I can negotiate the terms of their relocation."

If Quaritch thought it was BS, he didn't show it. He got up and started to walk away. After a few steps, he stopped and turned around. "Well, then you better get it done, Corporal."

—==''''==—

After the visit to Hell's Gate, Trudy had flown them back to the shack where Norm was waiting for them. She had to leave again right away, Colonel's orders.

 _Well, then you better get it done, Corporal._ The Colonel's words echoed in Jake's mind. He felt the exhaustion in every one of his bones, but there was no time to lose. At the kitchen table, he gulped the lukewarm black coffee like a tequila shot.

He tried to ignore Grace's eyes piercing into him, knowing full well he looked just as strung out as he felt. He had come so far. Who was she to tell him what and what not to do?

"Jake, I can't allow this!" He had never seen her so furious. "You're just not strong enough."

His lips were a grim, determined line before he spoke. It took all his resolve to make it clear to her. "It's the last door. I'm going through it. You can help me or get out of the way."

He pushed past her toward the corridor, but Grace grabbed him.

"Will you listen to me? Sometimes the Na'vi themselves die in these vision quests. The venom takes you to the edge of death. And the psychoactive alkaloid in the worm—we have no idea what that'll do in an avatar brain."

Jake managed to break free and wheeled away, down the corridor.

Grace followed him as he crossed to the link chamber. A sheet of lightning flashed across the sky outside, followed by a sharp crack of thunder. Pandora's anger was mingling with both Jake and Grace's.

Norm was already initializing Jake's link. "Calibrating. Thirty seconds."

Grace put her hands on Jake's shoulders. "No matter what you prove out there, you are still in here." She shook him to get some sense into him. "Right _here_."

It was a futile attempt. "I have to go all the way, become one of them—"

"Goddammit, Jake, you can never be one of them!"

Norm looked up, startled at the vehemence in Grace's voice.

Grace went on, "Our life out there takes millions of dollars of machinery to sustain. You visit—and you leave."

Ignoring her, Jake pulled himself from his wheelchair, levering himself into the link, hauling his useless legs inside.

Her voice became softer. "You can never truly be with her."

That stopped Jake cold. Just like that, she had pinioned him with the truth. And it wasn't something that he wanted to be reminded of. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't had these thoughts before. How was he going to keep this up? He knew he couldn't shuttle back and forth between the human world and the Na'vi world indefinitely.

At first, Pandora had felt like a dream to him. Now it was very much real. He was starting to build a life there, he had chosen a lover, a mate. He couldn't lose that! He suddenly felt very lost, but the bleak vista of the shack's interior reminded him of the merciless reality.

He looked at Grace, then Norm, his eyes filled with sudden contempt. His voice devoid of emotion, he hissed, "You know why I'm here? Because Quaritch sent me."

His voice devoid of emotion, he hissed, "You know why I'm here? Because Quaritch sent me."

Norm did a double-take. "What?"

"That's right. To embed with the Omatikaya _._ To find out how to screw them out of their home. By deceit or by force, he didn't care. And if it turned out to be force, then how best to do it."

Norm was in shock, but Grace was eerily calm.

"And what about now, Jake?" she asked.

"I'm not that guy anymore."

Grace nodded. She'd been on his journey every step of the way. "I know."

"But if I tell Quaritch the truth, he yanks me out. I never see her again. And if I tell her the truth, the Clan throws me out. That is, if they don't cut my heart out and show it to me."

It was harsh, putting the painful truth into words, his voice was threatening to break. It was his own perfect hell. He looked hopelessly at the two of them, waiting for something—an answer, a suggestion, a way out. Anything.

Norm snapped out of his shocked reverie. "They won't understand what you've done."

Jake's eyes clouded over with despair. His voice was shaky. "They don't even have a word for 'lie'. They had to learn it from us."

His fists were clenched, his knuckles white. Grace could see he was on the verge of tears. Lost and alone, between worlds.

She had been where he was. "I know. I taught it to them."

He pleaded, "Grace. I've gotta go. They're waiting."

Norm looked at the readout flashing on Jake's link unit display. "Link is ready."

Grace stopped him as he tried to close the lid. There was both compassion and worry in her eyes. "Jake. You can't carry this burden much longer."

Jake smiled wanly. "It's okay. Mo'at says an alien mind probably can't survive the Dream Hunt anyway."

Grace let go and closed the lid. It felt like closing a coffin. She watched his psionic patterns aligning to his avatar, somewhere out in the night.

To Norm, she said, "Prep my link. I'm going in."

—==''''==—

_"I am with you now, Jake. We are mated for life."_

The meaning of it only fully sank in when he blinked and stared at the tiny eye-hole camera embedded in the link chamber's lid. _What the hell are you doing, Jake?_ he thought. What the fuck just happened? Neytiri had blindsided him. Why hadn't anyone told him that for the Na'vi, the sexual act meant that a couple was bonded for the rest of their lives?

What _was_ the rest of their lives, anyway? How much longer would he be able to keep this up? Neytiri was unaware of the intricacies life entailed for his human alter ego, or that Jake couldn't keep going back and forth between his and their world indefinitely. Still, he was now officially "One of the People". The realization hit. He had just crossed a line.

"Shit," he muttered as he pushed open the link unit.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized it wasn't just that he was now basically married to Neytiri. He remembered Grace's flash card drill after the Omatikaya had accepted him as a student of their ways. Neytiri was going to be the next Tsahik. She was promised to Tsu'Tey, they would be a mated pair.

_"I am with you now, Jake. We are mated for life."_

What did that mean? Had he just changed destiny? There surely would be implications for the Clan. Damn his impulsive move! Stupid, stupid, stupid. _Why the hell did you sleep with her, Jake?_

Despite himself, a small smile crept onto his lips. It had been amazing, though. Tsahaylu had deepened the experience in ways he could not have imagined. How many more wonders did this planet have in store?

So, what now? Should he tell Grace and Norm? Better not, they'd be pissed, especially Grace. Because she knew better than anyone what it meant. Norm would surely start quizzing him on Na'vi sex, once he was over the initial shock. At this point, there was nothing to gain from telling them, he decided.

—==''''==—

Jake felt like he could do anything. He had survived Venezuela, he had survived the trip to Pandora, he had survived the Dream Hunt. He would survive this too.

That is, he had felt that way until Quaritch had yanked him out of the link without warning and dragged them all out to Hell's Gate. Was there still a chance to save the Omatikaya? His spirit was sinking at record speed with every second that unfolded in front of his eyes in the command center.

Grace was giving her every ounce of conviction to stand up for the Na'vi, to convince Selfridge that a peaceful solution had to be found. "If you wanna share this world with them, you need to understand them."

Quaritch brought up something on the display screen. "I'd say we understand them just fine, thanks to Jake here."

Jake's stomach turned and red-hot dread flooded him. What had the Colonel dug up?

"Hey Doc, come take a look."

One of Jake's videologs started playing. His face was gaunt, his voice tired, resigned. "They're not gonna give up their home. They're not gonna make a deal. For what? Lite beer and blue jeans? There's nothing that we have that they want. Everything that they sent me out here to do is a waste of time. They're never gonna leave Hometree."

Jake knew right then that it was over. They had blown the one chance they had. He closed his eyes and let his head sink to his chest. Grace's hand squeezing his shoulder failed to offer any comfort. His mind screamed, _Neytiri, Neytiri, Neytiri! I have to warn them!_

It was no good. Selfridge ordered Quaritch to pull the trigger all the same.

They weren't officially prisoners, but Jake knew that, unofficially, they weren't allowed to roam free around Hell's Gate anymore. Quaritch hadn't stationed two of his goons at the entry to the bio lab for nothing.

He watched Grace pour a glass of Scotch and down it in one shot. This all sounded way too familiar.

"This is how it's done." He picked up Grace's book on the Na'vi that was lying on the counter next to him. "When people are sitting on shit that you want, you make them your enemy." He threw the book to the floor. "Then you're justified in taking it."

Trudy came running in, out of breath. "Quaritch is rolling the gunships. He's gonna hit Hometree."

—==''''==—

Jake was trying to keep up with Grace. Quaritch's goons were following them to the Ops Center, tugging at Grace's arms to stop her.

She was furious. "Parker, wait. Stop! These are people you're about to—"

Selfridge had no patience for her indulgences. "They're fly-bitten savages who live in a tree! Look around. I don't know about you but I see a lot of trees. They can move."

"For God's sake, there are children in there. Babies!"

This was no good, Grace wasn't getting through. Jake tried to emphasize what she was saying. "Look, Selfridge, you don't want this kind of blood on your hands. Let me try to talk them out. They trust me."

Somehow, that must have had lit a deeply buried, humanitarian spark in Selfridge's brain. He followed the armed troopers escorting Grace and Jake to the bio lab. Max was starting to prep the links.

As Jake got hoisted himself into his link chamber, Selfridge told him, "Listen to me, you've got one hour. Unless you want your girlfriend in there when the axe comes down, get them to evacuate. One hour."

Those words were crystal clear, and Jake knew he meant them. Maybe he could save them after all. Never in his life had he wanted to fight for anything as badly as this.

—==''''==—

_"Get away from here! Never come back!!"_

Neytiri's words echoed in his mind like a razor blade cutting into his wrists. He barely registered when the link chamber lid was opened and one of the Colonel's men screamed at him. As the trooper slung him over his shoulder, he saw a raging Norm and Grace fighting a futile fight against the ex-military soldiers.

_I was a warrior who dreamed he could bring peace. Sooner or later, though, you always have to wake up._

He woke up to a nightmare, in both of his worlds. Hometree was lost. He had watched its foundation burst and witnessed in horror as the mighty tree fell to the ground, undamped and unprotected, burying innocent, uncomprehending Na'vi under it. There was no word or expression to describe the horror that tore him apart on the inside.

—==''''==—

"You murderers!" Grace yelled at the closing prison cell door. It reverberated off the transparent plastic door that separated them from the small guard room. The SecFor officers didn't seem to care. Grace was too angry to hear how one of them muttered under his breath, "Freakin' treehuggers," as he left.

The shocked silence in the cell was too loud for any of them to break. Norm had sunk down on the bunk on the left, Grace paced the small room for a minute, then realized the futility of it. Jake was sitting in his wheelchair, his blank stare fixed on the wall opposite him.

No one spoke for minutes, until Norm's hollow voice rang across the room. "They shot down Hometree." It was as if he needed to put it into words to actually start believing what he had witnessed on the screens in the bio lab.

"They sure fucking did!" Grace said forcefully. "I never should have let Selfridge control this whole operation, I never should have let it come this far. I should have warned the Omatikaya."

"Grace," Norm tried to calm her down. "It's—"

"Don't try to console me with empty phrases, Spellman."

Norm stayed quiet. What was there to say, anyway?

Grace's fury was unstoppable. "Fuck, why didn't I see it coming until it was too late? Selfridge and his little pricks, he didn't care shit about these people. And, you," she pointed at Jake, " _you_ delivered them to Quaritch on a silver platter."

Her hands went up in the air, then she let them drop to her sides in resignation. "I mean, Jesus, I even showed you the way straight to the Tree of Souls. I _never_ should have trusted you."

Jake's eyes were on her, hard and determined. "Are you done?"

She started pacing the room again. "No, I'm not done. Not by a long shot, Marine!"

"Fine, Grace, rage all you want," he countered, his voice raised, "do you think it's not cutting a hole in my heart to know that the Omatikaya lost their home? Do you not think it's eating me alive to know that I've had a hand in this?" He was shouting at her now. "You think I don't fucking care about any of this, any of _them_?!"

He felt tears of anger burning in his eyes, but he paid them no heed. "My mate is out there, and she just lost everything. I killed her father! How's that for a murderer?!" He angrily wiped at the tears on his cheeks.

This stunned Grace into momentary silence. She released a long breath. Her voice much calmer, she said, "Okay. Let's all take a step back here."

She sat down on the bunk on the right, leaning her back against the cold wall of the cell. "Besides, Jake, let's talk about the mating thing. You and Neytiri? What were you _thinking_? Oh, wait, I guess you weren't thinking at all."

Norm's head perked up. "You mated with Neytiri?"

Jake just gave him a disdainful look. "What the hell do you want from me?! It just happened, okay?"

Grace leaned forward. "With the Na'vi, things don't 'just happen'. Geez, if you'd learned _any_ thing in those three months, I'd have thought that _that_ would have sunk in."

"Well, excuse me, Grace, if I don't live up to your expectations. You guys, you know the Na'vi inside out. And, yeah, I know, I should have gone through training. But it wasn't my choice that Tommy died. Hell, I wish he'd be here rather than me, too. We'd all be better off for it."

In a softer tone, Grace said, "You know, I'm not so sure."

Norm looked at her questioningly, but Jake didn't acquiesce. "At least he would have known better not to sleep with the future Tsahik. Or ruin her life." The sigh he uttered came from deep within. "It doesn't matter now anyway, does it? After this, she won't ever want to see me again."

Tense silence ensued. For a long time, none of them spoke. His head in his hands, images repeated in front of his mind's eye: the fallen Hometree in flames, scared and wounded Na'vi staggering through the forest, Neytiri screaming at him in frightened rage. Jake felt more tears welling up. He bit them down with the last ounce of strength he had left. No comforting words were spoken, no consoling hand reached out to touch his shoulder. Even among the two people in this whole operation that he considered friends, he was lost and alone. The only comfort that kept him going was that he knew Neytiri lived. But for how long?

And then, suddenly, there was hope again.

Just like that, they heard Trudy's voice. Something about steak they didn't deserve. Max stormed in behind her, grabbing his key card to swipe it and free them. Within seconds, Jake's brain kicked into full soldier mode.

The door of the cell rolled open when another trooper rounded the corner. Trudy made her move even before she consciously realized it. She took him down with a sharp blow to the windpipe and a thai knee to the ribs.

From the corner of his eye, Max could see that the first trooper was getting up. Thinking quickly, he grabbed the first thing that looked sturdy enough to do damage—a coffee urn—and clocked the guy. He went down and stayed down.

"That was unexpectedly satisfying."

Stepping out from the brig, Norm said in shocked awe, "Trudy, you rock."

She grinned at him, "All part of the service."

Jake wheeled out last, grabbing the sidearm from the fallen trooper as Trudy bound his wrists.

"Thanks," he said, looking at Trudy and Max. He faced his motley group, chambering a round.

"So what do you say? Time for a revolution?"

Grace's face was set with sudden resolve. This was changing things. Maybe they could still save whatever was left to save. "I'm free."

Trudy grinned and tapped Jake's fist.

Seeing approval all around, he said, "Come on, let's go."

Getting out of Hell's Gate had been easier than they thought. If only there hadn't been the ricocheting bullet that had caught Grace in the abdomen. Jake had seen people wounded in battle, and he had seen soldiers die from gunshot wounds. He had a bad feeling about this.

—==''''==—

Inside the shack, Trudy's voice filtered through the radio that Jake was holding. "Well, at least they won't be able to track us up here. Not this deep into the vortex."

Jake could feel the huge metal container he was sitting in swaying slightly as it floated above the forest, held up only by four cable ropes tied to Trudy's Samson.

"It's strongest at the Tree of Souls, right?" he asked Trudy.

"Yeah."

"Good, 'cause that's where we're going."

As he looked over to Grace lying in her open link chamber, a worried frown etched into his forehead. He wheeled over to the trauma kit and extracted a syringe with morphine. Grace didn't flinch when he injected it into her upper arm.

"Ouch."

There was no humor in his voice when he told her, "Don't be a baby."

He didn't like the look of the wound under the blanket that was covering her. Blood had seeped through the bandages and continued doing so. Why the hell wasn't any of them a doctor or a surgeon or... something useful?!

He carefully placed the blanket where it had been before. She had been out of it for a while, but now she seemed more alert.

"We're moving," she stated more than asked.

"I'm gonna get you some help, Grace."

"I'm a scientist, remember? I don't believe in fairy tales."

"The People can help you. I know it."

Despite her ebbing strength, her gaze on him bore a certain reserved calculation. "Why would they help us?"

Jake didn't have an answer, and Grace knew it. Why indeed would they help, after what the Sky People did to them?

—==''''==—

After touching down the shack in the thick woods not too far from the Tree of Souls, Norm had come out of the link to be where he was needed most right now, in his human body. Jake was getting his link unit prepped.

"You're going in?" Norm asked.

"I have to. It's Grace's only chance."

Norm quickly glanced at the link display, the rotator coil was whirring with increasing speed. "Link's ready. What's the plan here, Jake?"

Jake hoisted himself into the link unit. "There is no plan."

"Tsu'Tey is Olo'eyctan now. He's not going to let you get near that place."

He lay down and lowered the electrode grid. "I've gotta try."

Norm thought it was an insane move. Still, he didn't say it out loud and closed the lid.

"Launching."

—==''''==—

Damn. It had worked. Toruk had bent to his will. Jake quickly shoved the lid of his unit open. "Norm?" he called, not seeing him in the link room.

"Yeah," Norm replied, coming into view from the lab area. "What happened?"

"The Omatikaya are willing to help Grace. We have to move fast, get her to the Tree of Souls."

Norm lifted his arms. "Whoa, what'd you do? Kill Tsu'Tey?"

"I'll explain later," Jake said, wheeling over to Grace's link unit.

"Grace," Jake softly addressed her, lightly touching her arm.

She stirred in the link unit, muttering something unintelligible.

"Grace, we gotta go," Jake said with more urgency to his voice. "The Omatikaya are going to help you. We have to take you to Vitraya Ramunong."

Norm was hovering close by, his expression filled with worry. He had never seen someone die, but he could tell from the way Jake was shepherding her that it wasn't looking good.

Jake turned round to look at Norm. "She's pretty out of it. We're running out of morphine. Can you go find something we can use as a stretcher?"

"Already on it," Trudy replied, having overheard the conversation. She grabbed her exopack and went into the airlock chamber.

"We also have to take her avatar body."

Norm thought quickly. "I'll go in, I'm gonna be more use with that in my other body."

Jake just nodded and from the corner of his eyes saw Norm prepping his link unit. Focusing his attention back on Grace, he looked at the bandage around her abdomen. Norm or Trudy must have changed it recently, it looked fresh but the ugly crimson stains stood out against the stark white of the cloth.

"Dammit, Grace, why'd you have to go and get shot?"

Her eyes opened slightly. Her voice wasn't much more than a croak. "So I could prove that you actually have a soft side, Marine."

He tried to smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "We have to take you to the Tree of Souls."

"What _did_ you do? You didn't really kill Tsu'Tey, did you?"

"No." He paused. Their eyes met for a short second. Grace would understand. "I am Toruk Makto now."

Her eyes widened, despite the pain she was in. "No shit."

The smile that spread over his lips now was genuine.

"That was a bold move. Not to mention stupid," she rasped.

"I'll agree on the bold. Not so much on the stupid. Crazy, we can talk about. Thing is, it worked."

He heard noises from the airlock, Trudy came back in, taking off their exopacks. She was carrying a makeshift stretcher.

"Okay, Grace, let's do this," Jake told her.

—==''''==—

_How was this ever going to turn out even remotely okay? What the hell had he been thinking, coming out here to lead the Na'vi into battle against an army of blood-hungry war machines? They had already lost Grace. There would be more casualties, it was inevitable._

He saw Neytiri approaching from where he was sitting up on one of the rocks that overlooked the hollow that Vitraya Ramunong proudly stood in. The hubbub was starting to die down as the Clan prepared for battle. Jake doubted many of them would get a lot of sleep tonight.

She sat down next to him and they gazed out at their people in silence for a few, long moments until Neytiri whispered, "Jake."

He turned his head and met her soulful, yellow eyes. "I have to leave you for the night. My other body needs to be strong enough to go into battle."

She smiled one of her wistful, encouraging smiles at him. "Then you must go."

He hesitated, not wanting to. She knew little about what was going on in the human world. Of course she had seen humans, and she had asked him questions about his "other life". He had told her the basics, about the Avatar program, the link chambers and the need to keep their human bodies functioning to be able to be back here as Jakesully.

She didn't know about the wheelchair, he had left that little detail out. Deep inside, he knew it was wrong—they were mated for life, and he knew he loved her. He should not be keeping things like that from her, but he also didn't see the point. She had only ever seen him in his avatar body, and he would prefer to keep it that way. What difference did it make if he couldn't walk as a human?

He softly took her hand. "I will be back early in the morning. If you need me, if something happens, you know where our shack is. That's where you will find me, Trudy and Norm."

She acknowledged with a quick nod. Studying Jake's face, she could feel the doubt radiating off him. He suddenly looked very lost. Squeezing his hand, she told him, "It will be a good fight. Eywa will be with us. As will Toruk Makto." Her voice was proud as she spoke his new title.

 _I hope you're right_ , he thought to himself. He leaned in and gave her a soft kiss before he got up. "Sleep well, oeyä lor 'awpo."

"Sleep well, oeyä uniltìranyu."

—==''''==—

It was a strange sensation, unlike anything he'd ever felt before. The air from Pandora's toxic atmosphere rushed into the shack and choked Jake with every further breath he took. As he lay on the cold metal floor, hyperventilating, he wondered if the distinct smell of ammonia was just a trick his delirious mind was playing on him.

There was no 'life passing by in fast motion' images, no bright light or narrow tunnel. There was just blackness.

And then, suddenly, there was... something. A soft hiss, words being spoken. Something pressing against the side of his face. He blinked, twice. Neytiri. The emergency rebreather. Oxygen. Too little oxygen. He couldn't breathe.

His hands grasped desperately for the valve opening. He groped, clumsy, finally finding it. Pure, unfiltered oxygen rushed into his airways, he took in lungs full, gasping. Three, four, five breaths.

Slowly, his vision returned. And then she was there, green and yellow war paint on her face, her expression changing from deadly fright to inexplicable relief. Her big, yellow eyes melted into him and he could finally see.

His hand reached out to her cheek, her skin was strangely cool to his touch. Her four-fingered hand found his and covered it.

"I See you," he whispered.

"I See you," she answered, cradling him in her lap, tears streaming down her face.

She closed her eyes, giving in to the emotional deliverance. He was breathing, he was alive, he was—

"My Jake," she said, carefully studying his pink, frail body. "Are you hurt?"

He stirred in her arms, everything seemed to function, except, of course, his legs. "No, I'm okay." He gestured at his wheelchair. "Can you get me that chair?"

She looked at him, puzzled, then somehow understood. His legs had not moved the whole time she had held him. She gently lifted him up and sat him down in his wheelchair.

"You cannot walk in this body?"

"I had an accident, a long time ago. When I was a warrior, in battle."

She nodded, understanding, but also not really.

He shook off the last flurries of haze from his brain, and suddenly the gravity of the situation came rushing back to him. "Quaritch. What happened? What about the others?"

"He does not walk this land anymore."

He wheeled over to the window and saw the fallen AMP Suit lying on the ground. He remembered an arrow whizzing past his ear before he had blacked out.

_Neytiri saved my life._

There was no time to dwell on it.

"Eywa heard you, Jake. The aypalulukan and the ayikran and the ayangtsìk all came to help. The Sky People did not win this battle. We showed them that they cannot take what they want."

"The fight is over? We won?"

She just nodded.

Jake had wheeled over to Norm's link unit, only now noticing that it was empty. "Where's Norm?"

"He is not here?"

He grabbed the handheld radio that was lying close by, activating it. "Norm? Norm, are you there? It's Jake."

There was a bit of static crackle, then silence. A few seconds passed, then: "Jake. Oh my God. Where are you?"

"The shack. Quaritch broke one of the windows. I can't go back into the link. Are you all right?"

"Yeah. No. I mean— My avatar was gunned down. I'm with Mo'at at the Tree of Souls. Everyone is here, everyone who made it. People are still pouring in."

"What about Trudy? Tsu'Tey?"

Norm was quiet for a moment. "Trudy didn't make it. I haven't seen Tsu'Tey."

"Shit," Jake muttered under his breath. "What about Hell's Gate?"

"I'm not sure."

"Hang on." Jake was already on his way over to the comm station. A remote message was flashing on the screen. He activated it.

Max's face came on the screen—a video recording. "Jake, Norman, I hope you get this. I don't know what you did, but it's mayhem out here. We managed to take control of the station, a lot of the SecFor officers defected when they realized what Quaritch was doing. We've got the rest of them locked up, including Selfridge. Let me know what's going on out there if you can."

The radio had been activated throughout the message playback so that Norm could listen in. Jake wanted to make sure. "Did you hear all of that?"

"Yeah, sure did."

"Okay, I'm gonna contact Max. Can you stay with the Clan for now?"

"I'm not going anywhere," Norm signaled back.

"I'll keep you updated, Jake out."

Neytiri had witnessed the whole exchange and drew a little closer. The air in here wasn't right, she was starting to feel light-headed.

Jake was punching buttons on the comm unit. She watched him with alarmed interest. This was all very alien to her. After about half a minute, he said, "I can't reach Max or anyone at Hell's Gate. Maybe the communication went down after Max got the message out."

Neytiri only nodded, she wasn't sure what he was talking about, but it sounded like he was.

He looked at her intently through the rebreather's facial shield. "So what now? I'm useless in this body out here."

Through the shack's window he could only just make out his avatar body lying motionless on the ground where it had fallen from Quaritch's grip after Neytiri pierced his heart with two poison-tipped arrows. "I need a link unit to go back to my other body. The only ones left are at Hell's Gate."

Neytiri spoke. "I will take you to Vitraya Ramunong, we send someone to take your other body. From there we go to aykewongä kllpxìltu."

He hesitated, suddenly uncomfortable. "Neytiri, maybe they shouldn't see me like this."

"It does not matter. You are Toruk Makto."

She could see the doubt and discomfort in his eyes, so she made a quick decision. "Can you stay here? How long?"

He looked around, his eyes searching for spare exopacks. He found one in the airlock, it seemed to be the only one left. Checking the oxygen tank, he said, "Four hours, maybe five."

"That will be enough."

"Enough for what?"

"Do not worry, My Jake. I will come back for you." With those words, she exited through the broken shack window.

"That's comforting," Jake muttered as he watched her vanishing in the underbrush.

—==''''==—

She wasn't even gone twenty minutes when Jake heard noises outside, the rumble of hooves penetrating the silence. He had switched off the toxicity alarm a while ago, and it had given way to eerie quietness. The forest was still in shock.

He saw two direhorses approaching; one carrying a Na'vi, one a human. Stopping in front of the shack, Neytiri descended off the horse in one fluid motion while Norm unskillfully slid down the side, almost toppling over when his feet hit the ground.

Norm entered the shack through the airlock, Neytiri stayed outside.

Jake waited next to the door to the pressure chamber. Norm smiled when he saw him. "Jake. Good to see you."

"You too."

"So, what's the plan?"

"You're not much of a horse guy, right?" Norm grinned at him.

Jake frowned, this did not bode well.

Norm clapped his friend lightly on the shoulder. "Saddle up, big guy."

Jake growled. "You couldn't get a banshee?"

"And then what? Watch you tumble off it from up high? Besides," he pointed at Jake's neck. "No Tsahaylu in human form, remember?"

"So, how'd you ride the direhorse?"

"Oh, they're really docile animals. And smart. I think this one likes me."

"Figures," Jake mumbled under his breath.

Norm started gathering up some supplies they would need to take. Both their exopacks would be good for another few hours.

It took some heavy lifting to get both Jake and his avatar onto the direhorses. Human Jake was riding with Neytiri, Norm and Jake's avatar on the other horse. It would take them at least two hours to ride out to Hell's Gate, but at this stage it was their only option.

Riding alongside each other, Neytiri asked Norm, "Your other body, do you remember where it is?"

"It was... I'm not sure. It can't be far. Must be that way."

"We will look for it," Neytiri simply stated. "Perhaps it can be healed."

—==''''==—

There was only little comfort in having won this war. The losses weighed heavy on everyone, especially Trudy and Tsu'Tey.

Sitting alone in the dimly lit bio lab beside his old link unit, his hand on the cool surface of the closed lid, a heavy sigh escaped Jake's lips. He closed his eyes, not struggling against the images for once.

The mortally wounded Tsu'Tey looked up at him, his queue reduced to a stub at the hands of Corporal Wainfleet. His last conversation with Tsu'Tey replayed perfectly in his mind.

_"_ _I can never ride again, or bond with my woman, or hear the voice of_ _Eywa_ _. I cannot lead the People. You will lead them, Jakesully."_

_"No. I'm not officer material."_

_"It is decided. Now do the duty of_ _Olo'eyctan_ _. Set my spirit free."_

_"I'm not killing you."_

_"I am already dead."_

_"No."_

_"It is the way. And it is good. I will be remembered—I fought with_ _Toruk Makto_ _, we were brothers, and he was my last shadow."_

Jake had looked at Tsu'Tey for a long time. Then he had drawn his knife and ended Tsu'Tey's pain with one swift motion.

_"Mawey oeyä tsmukan. Kä ngaru hu Eywa."_

It was the last thing he had said to Tsu'Tey.

Fresh tears stung in Jake's eyes. This wasn't how he had imagined this—any of this. Ultimately, though, he had made a difference. He'd found something worth fighting for. His life finally meant something.

He wiped the tears from his cheeks, taking a deep breath. He turned around and switched on the camera that was fastened to the link unit's display panel.

"Well, uh, I guess this is my last videolog. Whatever happens tonight, either way, I'm not gonna be coming back to this place. The science guys will keep the lights on here. But I won't miss this place. Well, I guess I better go. I don't wanna be late for my own party." He couldn't hide a smile. "It's my birthday, after all. This is Jake Sully, signing off."

—==''''==—

The last thing he remembered of his human body was Neytiri placing his naked form down on the soft, glowing moss. Her large eyes smiled down at him, hopeful, happy.

The tendrils reaching up from the ground tickled against his exposed skin. The prickling sensation made goosebumps cover his body, he suddenly felt electrified—as if thousands of electrodes delivered low voltage shocks to his body.

"My Jake," Neytiri whispered in his ear. "I will see you soon."

Mo'at started chanting and the Clan joined in. Their voices faded, gradually replaced by thousands, millions of whispers. It was as if he was suddenly connected to all living beings on Pandora all at once. One voice filtered through more clearly.

"You are home, Jake."

Grace. He knew it was Grace.

And then, just like that, the voices were gone. Everything was different, felt different. Something touched his cheek, something familiar.

He opened his eyes. The glow of the floating atokirina' and this magical world was not only around him but inside of him.

He was home.

**Author's Note:**

> atokirina' = seeds of the Sacred Tree  
> ayangtsìk = Hammerhead Titanotheres (pl.)  
> ayikran = banshees (pl.)  
> aykewongä kllpxìltu = aliens' territory (Na'vi word for Hell's Gate)  
> aypalulukan = Thanators (pl.)  
> faketuan = alien (non-Na'vi)  
> Iknimaya = name of the area where the young Na'vi hunters go to select, capture and bond with a banshee  
> irayo = thank you  
> kaltxì = hello  
> Mawey oeyä tsmukan. Kä ngaru hu Eywa. = [Be] calm, my Brother. Go with the Mother Spirit.  
> Nume = learn  
> Oel ngati kameie = I see you  
> oeyä lor 'awpo = my beautiful one  
> oeyä uniltìranyu = my dreamwalker  
> Olo'eyctan = clan leader  
> Plltxe ngal Na'vi lì'fya srak? = Do you speak Na'vi?  
> Rä'ä niltsan. = Not well.  
> sa'atenuk = mother  
> skxawng = moron  
> Toruk = Great Leonopteryx, an airborne predator, the Na'vi name Toruk means "Last Shadow"  
> Toruk Makto = Rider of the "Last Shadow", a Na'vi individual who manages to ride Toruk (Great Leonopteryx)  
> Tsahaylu = The Bond (connection made through the neural connectors at the end of the Na'vis' queues)  
> Tsahik = spiritual leader of the Na'vi clan, the name means "she who interprets the will of Eywa"  
> Vitraya Ramunong = Tree of Souls


End file.
